My Wife Diaries

It's funny how you hear things as a single girl from your married friends about being married and being a wife and you develop your own idea or fantasy about what YOUR marriage will be like, then once you get to experience marriage for yourself, you realize "OH that's what they were talking about!".

Here are some revelations I have learned from being married!

• Tell each other how you feel!! When you do life together it's easy to wake up to the same person who sleeps next to you and just assume they know how much they mean to you (NOT TRUE) I have learned that it is so important to uplift each other by telling that person how much they mean to you whenever you think it. (if you are married tell your spouse you appreciate them today) 
• It's easy to get frustrated over things when you never communicate your needs. It's so important to communicate your needs even if you are just tired and really need a break or are worried and need prayer for something, that's on your heart. It surprises me sometimes how much Tim steps up and helps out once he knows what I'm going through. 
• Take time to think about what your spouse does right. Honesty time, now I know I am not the only one who struggles with this! I have found in my marriage I forget this one most often. It's easy to feel like you wish that your husband does this or that more, but it's sooo soo important to make an effort to think about the billions of qualities that your spouse does possess.  There are so many things I cherish about my husband, I really need to think on those more. It will make your life so much better and more positive. 
• Finally It is all in the way you present it! It's ok to let your spouse know when you are annoyed or frustrated with things however it is so important how you present it. Obviously they are not trying to annoy or frustrate you on purpose, sometimes when you live together it just happens!! Whenever you do feel that way stop yourself in the moment maybe think through what you are planning to say ask yourself will this come across as criticism? My advice is try the sandwich method, example: I love it that you have been helping out so much more with the chores it really makes me feel loved, it would really mean a lot to me if you could continue helping out with things around the house like ---------- it would be such a relief/help to me even more, since I know you have been doing so much more to help me with things! praise and compliment - need - praise and compliment! See how that doesn't sound like a criticism but it gets the message across that you have an expectation you need met. 

I'm not writing this because I want to brag about how I get these things right in my marriage this is really a confession about things I am trying really hard at doing more! One of the biggest things I have learned about marriage is that it is REAL WORK it's never easy but it is so rewarding when you learn about how to be the wife your husband needs and love him the way he needs!